Something about the difficulty in Xenoblade Chronicles 3 feels completely out of whack, and I think a lot of it has to do with chain attacks. Against a same-level boss, a good chain attack can take out more than half their HP and full-heal the entire party at the same time. I’m dropping bosses from phase 1 to dead without even seeing what they do in phase 2. But the game expects you to use chain attacks, so without them, everything takes way too long to kill. It’s like the game doesn’t want me to play more than half the bossfight before I go “fuck you, you’re dead.”

What the fuck is happening in Xenoblade Chronicles 3 I am literally watching an art house movie right now. And then a dude walks into the movie screen and becomes a part of the movie?

Xenoblade Chronicles 3 has an item called an Emetater. This root vegetable imitates a tater, but if you eat it, you’ll discover it’s an emetic.

Xenoblade Chronicles 3 is so angry and so heartfelt, I feel like it has to be a metaphor for something, but I have no idea what. Usually when I don’t get what a Japanese story is angry about, it’s grappling with the legacy of World War II, but “child soldiers realize the people who’re ordering them to fight are literally the same people on both sides” doesn’t sound like World War II specifically.

So one of the characters is this shapeshifting foxgirl who's also . . . kind of like a Gem from Steven Universe. It's hard to easily explain what Blades are. Anyway, she was raised by catfolk who she refers to as her family, and she always uses a catgirl form unless she needs to call on her foxgirl powers. And part of this is that catgirls are much less discriminated against than foxgirls in this setting, and she's afraid of people knowing her "secret." But even with people she knows and trusts who already know she's a foxgirl, her catgirl form is her casual form when she's chatting instead of fighting, and I find that really interesting from a character perspective. It's not the body she was "born" with, but it's the body she chooses.

(If only this was actually discussed in the game. Like a lot of JRPG female leads, she needed more characterization that was actually about her, rather than about how much she wanted to have sex with the player-insert dude.)

Normally, you improve your bond with your not-Pokemon by fighting alongside them, completing quests with them, and giving them gifts. I tried that over and over with two characters over the course of 80-odd hours of game time, but they never grew any more fond of me. Then I finally looked it up, and it turns out these two characters can only improve their bond by going to an out-of-the-way, previously closed location the game never told me had opened up. I have no idea how anyone played this game when it first came out, before the players were able to compile a wiki for all the things that are never freaking explained.

There's this thing that happens to me a lot with JRPGs. The villain comes up with a lecture about how much the hero sucks, and the hero has no response, and I DO have a response. I keep waiting for the hero to say any of the things that are going through my head about how the villain is an overgrown infant throwing a tantrum, and he never comes up with anything as the villain keeps ranting and ranting, and I just keep getting angrier as I wait for anyone to shut this tool up. Xenoblade Chronicles 2 has a terrible case of this even by JRPG standards.

(Actually, you know what's weirdly good at shutting up villains? Kingdom Hearts. "Darkness is the heart's true essence." "I don't know what you're talking about, and I don't care.")

Please tell me the tsundere catgirl isn't the love interest. I'll take literally anyone else.

*Shy, subby girl who likes cooking*

Fuck no go back

*Mega-ultra-tsundere bitch*

I SAID GO BACK

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Nice double-fakeout on the mentor death. Turns out the wise old dragon-thing who raised the protagonist isn't even the mentor; he's the mascot.

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I cannot get over how much funnier this is than 1. Than any recent JRPG I've played, actually.

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Apparently, people hate Tora. He's an odd combination of idiot and genius, and he makes annoying noises whenever you have him jump, but he also has the most personal, grounded motivations in a cast whose other motivations tend to be abstract and ambitious. Also, it's kind of cute how he sings to himself when he's happy.

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I could upgrade this character by using specific attacks or killing monsters in specific regions or getting a combo only one of my party members can actually trigger. Or I could upgrade them by sending them out on timed side quest thingies. Guess which one I'm picking.

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I find Vandham's worldview childish. You're actively involved in battles. Rex sells things that sometimes benefit the military in indirect ways, and refuses to sell weapons. You are not the same.

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I hate how I keep handily winning bossfights, then getting cutscenes where I'm losing. Just give me bosses that are twenty levels higher and have me actually lose.

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There are a lot of writing choices I disagree with, but overall, I think this plot is smarter than 1. It's good at presenting a world that's falling apart in ways nobody can fix, and it gives good context for Rex's desperate plan to find a sanctuary most people don't even believe exists.