I’m trying to figure out what happened between 1978 and 1983

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Music that represents you

Inspired by a post by @sinesalvatorem about how the quickest way to understand her is to listen to music she likes. I don’t really get it, but it got to me listen to Far from Finished, so I consider that a gain.

Is there a song you would recommend to represent you and your way of thinking? For me, it’s Who, If Not I? (Warning: video contains implications of suicide)

What I Have to Give

Originally post on Tumblr in March 2017. I just dug it up, and I thought it was still good. 

I’ve been told that tolerance isn’t enough. But I don’t know what I can offer besides that.

Most of the time, I can’t offer understanding. I don’t really know what it’s like to have to choose between paying your rent and buying food. I have no experience with being singled out and mocked by strangers on the street. I don’t know what it’s like to crash after a manic episode, nor do I have any experience with trying to set up a sexual encounter without tipping off my sexual orientation to anyone who might beat me up for it. And I would venture that there are many people who will never understand how I feel when someone nervously asks me if my illness is contagious, or will never truly get it if I try to explain dysphoria to them. We’re all limited to what we can perceive with our own minds, from our own experiences.

I can’t offer belief, at least not all the time. Of course, I don’t really believe that preacher who swears he’s not gay and was just possessed by a demon. And I don’t believe Andy Blake when he says he had schizophrenia and DID until he cured himself with willpower. But more than that, I approach the world from a very specific viewpoint, one focused on testability and reproducibility. I interact with a lot of ideas and beliefs that I have no way of testing, and I can’t promise total faith in something I’m simply being told.

What I can offer starts with politeness. I can be respectful when you tell me about your problems, and I can recognize that they’re problems for you. And I can offer honesty, portraying what you say and what you believe without distorting it. I can promise not to interfere with your life and your choices, so long as you’re not causing harm to those around you. In sum, I can offer to tolerate you, for as much or as little as that’s worth.

(I once saw an argument about tolerance on the TV Tropes forums. Someone decided to reverse the question: what happens if we don’t tolerate others? The self-proclaimed “negative Utilitarian” responded with a picture of a concentration camp. He was pretty good at cutting to the heart of things.)