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[personal profile] feotakahari
Books you read when you were eight, but don’t remember because they’re not Animorphs:

(This doesn’t count those of you who were eight in 1980.)

Fear Street: Goosebumps with gore. The best ones didn’t have monsters, just humans being terrible to each other. The Fier family’s backstory was weird and unnecessary.

Christopher Pike: low-quality Fear Street. I liked the one where the main characters mistook Pan for Satan.

Graveyard School: Goosebumps with an ongoing plot. I liked how it had evil and it had monsters, and the monsters were afraid of the evil too.

Eerie, Indiana: okay, was trying to be Goosebumps just a thing back then?

Replica: main character was a supergenius. Author had no idea how to write a supergenius.

The Nine Lives of Chloe King: Mary Sue garbage with sexy catgirls. Broke my developing young brain when Chloe speculated about how many breasts a fully transformed catgirl has.

Violet Eyes: people called this Mary Sue garbage, but I thought it was pretty good at giving its programmed-to-be-perfect characters actual weaknesses.

Jane Yolen: did anyone else notice the TF fetish?

Pete Hautman: the most insightful writer here. Or sometimes Chris Crutcher. It varied.

John Bellairs: the most compulsively readable writer here.

Garth Nix: really wanted to be the best writer here.

Samurai Girl: everyone forgot about this by the time book 3 came out, and I have no idea why.

The Unicorn Chronicles: everyone forgot about this because book 3 took nine years to come out.

Scorpion Shards: every major character in this series is scum or dies, and the worst scumbag is the one whose androgynous aesthetic I actually like.

Sweet Valley High: my generation’s Millie the Model. I only read this when the author got bored and ripped off Fear Street for four books.

Extreme Zone: how many different evil conspiracies can one series have?

2099: Fear the Year: I never read these, but “don’t get too attached to them. They won’t live long” is pretty metal as far as series taglines go.

T-witches: I never even watched Charmed, and I still got the impression this was a Charmed ripoff. Terrible, terrible title.

Fire-us: I liked the part where they tried to recreate the Ten Commandments and came up with “just say no to drugs.”

Valdemar: I only read the one about the guy who burns to death because he wants to fuck a horse.

What do you remember from when you were bored and eight?

Date: 2021-03-14 01:59 am (UTC)
stardust_rifle: A cartoon-style image of of a fluffy brown cat sitting upright and reading a book, overlayed over a sparkly purple circle. (Default)
From: [personal profile] stardust_rifle
Poison Apple/Rotten Apple: Basically the first "modern" preteen books I read, I'm pretty damn sure one specific book from this series sparked my love of vampires, and the whole Rotten Apple series was my gateway into zombiefucking.

39 Clues: I remember literally nothing about this series other than the incest.

The True Meaning of Smekday: I'm still pissed about that movie adaptation.

Touching Spirit Bear: This was basically the first "adult" book I remember reading, and I can remember hiding it a bunch of different places because I was terrified that if my mother caught it, I would be punished. I remember being Very Scandalized at the swearing! and drugs!, but I felt better after finishing it, like I'd purged something from my soul.

The Mysterious Benedict Society: Probably the best book on this list. I remember thinking it was really similar to Lemony Snicket when I read it.

Date: 2021-03-15 01:18 am (UTC)
lb_lee: A happy little brain with a bandage on it, enclosed within a circle with the words LB Lee. (Default)
From: [personal profile] lb_lee
Oh man, I remember Garth Nix and the Unicorn Chronicles. That last series took Coville FOREVER, but kudos to him for coming up with a plot twist around unicorns that I thought was really good (and also helped the series go from "meh" to "I AM INVESTED.")

Garth Nix I haven't reread in ages. I've kiiiinda wanted to try Shade's Children again, because/except I remember something about a random multi subplot that comes out of nowhere and is hastily killed?

Eight was the age I discovered Piers Anthony. (REGRET.) Also might've been the age I discovered Dealing With Dragons, which is still pretty ace. (Wasn't into the rest of the series though.)

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