I’m playing Crystal Project. After hours of attempts, I almost glitched my way to the top of a seemingly unclimbable tower, but I just couldn’t glitch that last jump and fell to the bottom over and over and over. Turns out you’re supposed to have a golden chocobo before you can climb it. (The game calls them Quintars, but fuck it, they’re chocobos.)
In order to get a golden chocobo, you need to breed an ocean chocobo and a chocobo that hovers when it jumps, and in order to get the ocean chocobo, you need to breed a river chocobo and a desert chocobo, and in order to breed the hovering chocobo . . . Basically, I’m inbreeding my chocobos like they’re the Habsburg dynasty. And a lot of them refuse to fuck any chocobo who hasn’t gotten first place in several chocobo races, so I need to redo the races with various kinds of chocobos, trying to find races that play to their various strengths.
(I still haven’t identified whether the ocean chocobo has a strength.)
And almost all of the races have these jumps where if you fall, you’re off the course completely. The race doesn’t end, but there’s no way for you to get back up without dismounting the chocobo and being disqualified. The other racers will never miss a jump, of course, and you can’t push them off. They can only push you off, because fuck you and your lightweight chocobo. So you have to make every jump perfectly, all in a row, and even when you finally get first place, you have to do it again with the fucking ocean chocobo.
So in order to not have to deal with an infuriating jump that makes me restart whenever I fall, I have to deal with infuriating jumps that make me restart whenever I fall. Whatever’s at the top of the tower cannot be worth this.
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