feotakahari

Inspired by Lucia in Devil May Cry 2, I’ve developed a theory of what a “bad accent” sounds like. A bad accent is a mathematical function of the speaker’s actual accent. You start with the actual accent, and then you come up with some find-and-replace rules, like swapping every short e sound for a long e sound. Then you follow each rule perfectly with no room for variation. In a real accent, some words will have a longer e, some words will have a shorter e, some words will end up with more of a short i sound, etc.

1): What is wrong with this camera? I’m moving left, and then suddenly the camera switches so that left is right and I’m moving the wrong way, so I fall to the bottom of a chasm. This kind of thing happens all the time.

2): Gloria is like Bayonetta on a budget, and she’s the first character I’ve seen who actually breasts boobily down the stairs. She looks like she has a spinal condition that forces her to lean her head back and thrust her chest forward.

3): It’s been four games. How do you not have a forward roll yet? Seriously, even Dark Souls lets you roll forward if you want to.