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feotakahariThe recording clicks on.
“I think the Vimeer can track when we upload files,” a voice says. “So I went old-fashioned. If I'm lucky, they won't think to search for this recording. If I'm really lucky, I'll be able to pick it up myself. Share this with someone you trust.”
The sound of a shutting drawer. For a while, all that can be heard are workplace conversations, muffled by the conference room door.
Soon enough, people can be heard filing into the room. They're not talking much, exhausted by a long day of work. Then there's a popping noise, and a high but forceful voice speaks. “Welcome to this optional presentation on Servants and You! We appreciate your curiosity about how the Vimeer use Servants, and how it will impact your new job duties!”
Another popping noise. “This, as you can see, is a Servant. It comes from one of our prior acquisitions on another planet. Servant, please greet our guests.”
A slow, mumbling voice says “Muh-muh.”
“Friendly, isn't it?” the forceful voice asks.
“I thought they'd be like zombies,” someone says quietly. She probably didn't intend to be overheard.
“Not at all!” the forceful voice says. “We've studied your idea of 'zombies,' but the Servants are quite active! As you can see, it fidgets in a variety of low-impact ways at irregular intervals. This is actually a form of enrichment! Doing exactly the same thing with no variance can lead to stress and other negative mental impacts. By introducing an element of randomness, Servants maintain peak performance while remaining happy and satisfied. Servant, you're not needed for the moment. Please engage wait mode.”
“Uh, what's it doing?” someone asks.
“It's a kind of dance,” the forceful voice says. “With more movement and increased randomness, Servants stay happy longer.”
“Naturally,” it continues, “the second common question is where Servants come from. It's common to be afraid that a Servant will take your job, and some even fear becoming Servants themselves! But unless you break laws, forced Servitude is nothing you have to worry about. The majority of Servants are actually volunteers.”
“Why would someone--”
“The third question, yes! Well, there aren't that many of them. Sadly, most people don't trust us yet. But sometimes unhappy people decide they'd be happier as Servants. Our neural path modifications and enrichment protocols ensure they enjoy themselves no matter what work they end up doing! Our highest priority is that no Servants ever be put in a position of negative mental impact. Even in the rare case of lawbreakers, we ensure all Servants want to serve!”
The voice that speaks now is low and calm. It's the voice that spoke first, the one that hid the recorder. “Those are two different things.”
“Would you please clarify what you mean by that?” the forceful voice asks.
“Being happy with serving, and wanting to serve. Sometimes people don't want to be happy.”
“That's beyond the scope of this presentation,” the forceful voice says. “But we can assure you that no Servant is ever mistreated or neglected.”
There's a brief pause, but no one else speaks up.
“That leads into the fourth question,” the forceful voice says. “If Servants can do so many things, why do we need employees like you? The truth is that we simply don't have enough Servants. You do the work they don't or can't. And so long as most people don't volunteer as Servants, your jobs will always be secure.”
“Could Servants even do our jobs?” the calm voice asks. “We're not paid to dance.”
“An important part of your work is to interface with outsiders,” the forceful voice says. “Suppliers, customers, even reporters. Random fidgeting would make that job much harder.”
“Other than that, though,” the calm voice says. It sounds oddly disinterested in the question being asked. “Could they do our jobs?”
“It's plausible,” the forceful voice admits. “But it's time to wrap this up. Servant, you can return now.”
Another popping noise.
“Does anyone have any final questions?”
“Yes,” the calm voice says. “I have a question. You've only showed us the least frightening things Servants can do.”
“That's not a question,” the forceful voice says.
“It moves randomly,” the calm voice continues. “We don't move randomly. So we can be sure our coworkers aren't Servants. But there are other kinds of randomness.”
“It really is time to wrap this up.”
“Please, Jim,” another voice adds nervously. “Just let it go.”
“What about the randomness of answering unpredictable questions from an audience? What about the enrichment from considering which words to use? Could a Servant be completely indistinguishable from a free person? Presenter, are you a Servant?”
The forceful voice again. Completely even. Not threatening at all. “Please do not resist.”
The screams only last a short while. The calm voice can be heard under them, almost inaudible. Still calm. Still unafraid.
“Got you.”
“I think the Vimeer can track when we upload files,” a voice says. “So I went old-fashioned. If I'm lucky, they won't think to search for this recording. If I'm really lucky, I'll be able to pick it up myself. Share this with someone you trust.”
The sound of a shutting drawer. For a while, all that can be heard are workplace conversations, muffled by the conference room door.
Soon enough, people can be heard filing into the room. They're not talking much, exhausted by a long day of work. Then there's a popping noise, and a high but forceful voice speaks. “Welcome to this optional presentation on Servants and You! We appreciate your curiosity about how the Vimeer use Servants, and how it will impact your new job duties!”
Another popping noise. “This, as you can see, is a Servant. It comes from one of our prior acquisitions on another planet. Servant, please greet our guests.”
A slow, mumbling voice says “Muh-muh.”
“Friendly, isn't it?” the forceful voice asks.
“I thought they'd be like zombies,” someone says quietly. She probably didn't intend to be overheard.
“Not at all!” the forceful voice says. “We've studied your idea of 'zombies,' but the Servants are quite active! As you can see, it fidgets in a variety of low-impact ways at irregular intervals. This is actually a form of enrichment! Doing exactly the same thing with no variance can lead to stress and other negative mental impacts. By introducing an element of randomness, Servants maintain peak performance while remaining happy and satisfied. Servant, you're not needed for the moment. Please engage wait mode.”
“Uh, what's it doing?” someone asks.
“It's a kind of dance,” the forceful voice says. “With more movement and increased randomness, Servants stay happy longer.”
“Naturally,” it continues, “the second common question is where Servants come from. It's common to be afraid that a Servant will take your job, and some even fear becoming Servants themselves! But unless you break laws, forced Servitude is nothing you have to worry about. The majority of Servants are actually volunteers.”
“Why would someone--”
“The third question, yes! Well, there aren't that many of them. Sadly, most people don't trust us yet. But sometimes unhappy people decide they'd be happier as Servants. Our neural path modifications and enrichment protocols ensure they enjoy themselves no matter what work they end up doing! Our highest priority is that no Servants ever be put in a position of negative mental impact. Even in the rare case of lawbreakers, we ensure all Servants want to serve!”
The voice that speaks now is low and calm. It's the voice that spoke first, the one that hid the recorder. “Those are two different things.”
“Would you please clarify what you mean by that?” the forceful voice asks.
“Being happy with serving, and wanting to serve. Sometimes people don't want to be happy.”
“That's beyond the scope of this presentation,” the forceful voice says. “But we can assure you that no Servant is ever mistreated or neglected.”
There's a brief pause, but no one else speaks up.
“That leads into the fourth question,” the forceful voice says. “If Servants can do so many things, why do we need employees like you? The truth is that we simply don't have enough Servants. You do the work they don't or can't. And so long as most people don't volunteer as Servants, your jobs will always be secure.”
“Could Servants even do our jobs?” the calm voice asks. “We're not paid to dance.”
“An important part of your work is to interface with outsiders,” the forceful voice says. “Suppliers, customers, even reporters. Random fidgeting would make that job much harder.”
“Other than that, though,” the calm voice says. It sounds oddly disinterested in the question being asked. “Could they do our jobs?”
“It's plausible,” the forceful voice admits. “But it's time to wrap this up. Servant, you can return now.”
Another popping noise.
“Does anyone have any final questions?”
“Yes,” the calm voice says. “I have a question. You've only showed us the least frightening things Servants can do.”
“That's not a question,” the forceful voice says.
“It moves randomly,” the calm voice continues. “We don't move randomly. So we can be sure our coworkers aren't Servants. But there are other kinds of randomness.”
“It really is time to wrap this up.”
“Please, Jim,” another voice adds nervously. “Just let it go.”
“What about the randomness of answering unpredictable questions from an audience? What about the enrichment from considering which words to use? Could a Servant be completely indistinguishable from a free person? Presenter, are you a Servant?”
The forceful voice again. Completely even. Not threatening at all. “Please do not resist.”
The screams only last a short while. The calm voice can be heard under them, almost inaudible. Still calm. Still unafraid.
“Got you.”
