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[personal profile] feotakahari
One revelation that was only briefly discussed, but that I still have no idea how to evaluate: the Goddess made Hannah suffer years of dysphoria.

When the Goddess decided what “tests” would be most amusing to put Hannah through, the spider-girl form was one of the boons she granted to keep Hannah from failing immediately. To make sure Hannah could properly use it, the Goddess modified Hannah’s ideal body (possibly before birth?) so she’d want a spider-girl body. Then the Goddess stretched Hannah’s soul across the space-time continuum and put part of it in a custom-built spider body, while the rest of it remained in the girl body she presumably would have had anyway.

Hannah grew up switching between bodies every time she slept, and waking each time to a feeling that this wasn’t her body and she didn’t belong. When both bodies began to equalize towards a spider-girl shape, her fear of being ostracized mixed with relief at finally feeling comfortable with herself.

We don’t know, and will probably never know, what body Hannah would have wanted without the Goddess’s influence. Since lots of people dislike their bodies, the Goddess probably gave Hannah a euphoria she wouldn’t otherwise experience. But how can Hannah say whether euphoria is something she “wants”?

(When Hannah pointed out what a violation this was, the Goddess obliquely threatened to take away Hannah’s ability to make choices. The Goddess is awful.)

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