I tried writing again

[feotakahari]

I knew from the start that this story was going to be horrifying, but I thought I could do something interesting that I hadn't seen before. It felt clever, subversive even, as I built up a sense of dread. Now I'm right before the scene where the claws come out. If I do my job right, it's going to be brutal and visceral and nauseating. And I don't want to write this.

I hate that this is what my brain comes up with whenever I try to write a story. That's part of why I gave up writing before, because I was tired of writing scenes that made me feel miserable. I would love to be a writer whose stories are gentle and comforting, if those were the ideas I had in my head. As it is, I'm not sure it's worth it to keep hurting myself to try to write more.

Comments

[wolffyluna]

*hugs iff wanted*

(It sucks where what you want to make and what you ended up making a really different.)

[lb_lee]

I think not wanting to make stuff that makes you feel rotten is a totally legitimate thing. I mean, jesus, it's not like you're getting showered in gold for this!

--Rogan