In response to a weird post about rubber bands

[feotakahari]

1. An idea I see a lot on the Internet is that men need to be terrified of women who will harass them for existing while male. I’m huge, hairy, and socially awkward, but I only get harassed for seeming overly male when I’m on the Internet. I have no idea what to make of this.

2. This is sometimes paired with the idea that men need to be terrified of men who will beat, harass, or sexually assault them for being insufficiently masculine. I’ve read about this a lot in books, especially when the target is gay, but I’ve never actually seen it happen. Again, I have no idea what to make of this.

3. The language in use often frames women as helpless trauma victims who cannot stop themselves from harassing men for being male. This is bullshit. You may not control how you feel, but you definitely control who you harass.

Comments

[lb_lee]

I admit, I've had a lot of harassment since childhood for blatant faggotry... but I also think that for lack of a better term, I smell like a victim. (People usually interpret that statement to think I'm being down on myself, but douchebags make snap-judgments as to who's good prey, just like we make snap-judgments as to who's likely to be dangerous. For whatever reason--size, behavior, whatever--I apparently ring as a victim to folks.) A lot of my social behavior revolves around the knowledge that I attract unpleasant people, sometimes REALLY unpleasant. However, I think a lot (MOST) people don't have that blood-in-the-water problem, and thus have very different experiences.

It also might have some regional stuff. People respond to me VERY differently, depending where in the country we are, and part of the song and dance of being trans is me trying to snap-judgment THEIR snap-judgment and divine the correct behavior that'll let me get through the interaction with minimal fail. (It often doesn't work--see the door-to-door salesman who called me 'sport' and told me to get my mother. At least I got the satisfaction of saying, "I'm THIRTY!" and him hastily backpedaling off our porch and never bothering me again. I guess that's ONE way to get rid of salesmen.)

But anyone who uses their trauma as an excuse to give people shit is using it as just that: an excuse. It's one thing to kneejerk react in a bad way, but harassment requires conscious action.

--Rogan